You’ve seen her. She’s remarkably talented, brave, confident, even fearless. Ethics drives her; she cares deeply for those around her and seems to slay work and personal responsibilities easily. She’s open-hearted and kind, and strong enough to be vulnerable. You see her as an absolute badass.
While you’ve likely called a few women around you badass, I’d like you to consider shifting your perspective. Swapping outward with inward. Why?
You’re a badass too.
Now, if you ducked that last statement like a meteor directed at your head, you’re in good company. I’ve heard from dozens and dozens of clients who see the badass in other women but struggle to accept the same title for themselves. They admire another woman’s determination, strength, inner resilience, sheer competency, and resourcefulness, but yet they struggle to accept the term for themselves. Why is this?
Women, in particular, are much more likely to see this in others. While we can effortlessly admire the women we work with, embracing those same qualities in ourselves is much harder. This is because we must love ourselves at a deeper level, which is hard for many of us to do.
The path to badassery
Years of being taught to be selfless, devoted caretakers, giving to others, and supportive of others train us to ignore our own magnificence. We’ve learned to turn on ourselves, hurling self-criticism in a misguided attempt to whip ourselves into better and better achievement. This can be a daunting habit to overcome.
Instead of the kind, loving words we offer our friends, family, and work sisters, we offer a biting criticism and nagging complaints to ourselves. If we even stop to consider this voice, we would be horrified to say the same things to others that we have on intravenous drip to ourselves. This makes us better, and sharper. But it just tears us down and keeps us disconnected from ourselves. Of course, not every woman has this challenge. But enough of us do for a burgeoning self-help industry to sprout up.
Nourishing that inner badass
One of the most game-changing things you can do is embrace how badass you are. Because turning to love instead of criticizing ourselves is a genuinely next-level jiujitsu move.
So, how can we reconnect with ourselves? How can we tap into our inner knowing and resourcefulness? How can we fully embrace our badassery?
The first step is becoming aware of the inner critic and shutting her down. Catch that negative talk and challenge it every time. The next step is to replace the criticism with a practice of self-love. Not sure where to begin? Try guided meditations on loving and accepting yourself. You can also deepen into a daily practice of self-love through journaling and nurturing your inner voice of compassion and care. Turn that loving compassion toward yourself.
Turning to yourself enables greater access to your heart, self-compassion, and internal alignment. When you start filling yourself with as much love as you do others, you can transform your inner landscape. When you heap all that love on yourself, you will see you are a badass.